Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
TOP 10 SURE FIRE SIGNS YOU MAY BE CAUGHT IN A NORTH TEXAS STORM
10. Local meteorologists predict 30% chance of rain.
9. An hour before lunch it begins to look like midnight outside.
8. Oak trees bending in ways they normally don't
7. Subtle cracking/popping/pinging sounds coming from conference room windows
6. KathieLewis(Office Mgr) walks through and suggests that everyone stay away from the windows.
5. On the P.A system, Bldg Security announces,"If you are in an office or conference room with exterior glass, please leave the room and close the door behind you"
4. Doppler Radar on Fox Storm Tracker shows your current location in RED.
3. 70mph straight line winds.
2. Mindi "The Weather Girl" Chappell predicted it.
. . .and the number 1 sure fire sign that you may be caught in a North Texas Storm is:
1. The power in your office bldg goes out and you have to eat your lunch in the basement by emergency lighting.
9. An hour before lunch it begins to look like midnight outside.
8. Oak trees bending in ways they normally don't
7. Subtle cracking/popping/pinging sounds coming from conference room windows
6. KathieLewis(Office Mgr) walks through and suggests that everyone stay away from the windows.
5. On the P.A system, Bldg Security announces,"If you are in an office or conference room with exterior glass, please leave the room and close the door behind you"
4. Doppler Radar on Fox Storm Tracker shows your current location in RED.
3. 70mph straight line winds.
2. Mindi "The Weather Girl" Chappell predicted it.
. . .and the number 1 sure fire sign that you may be caught in a North Texas Storm is:
1. The power in your office bldg goes out and you have to eat your lunch in the basement by emergency lighting.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
TOP 10 CANDIDATES TO REPLACE MY EXPIRING VANITY PLATES
10. OMG ML8
9. H8 2 W8
8. QTP2T
7. 2 D BANK
6. Y N V ME
5. 1DFUL1
4. O 2 B ME
3. MY PL8Z
2. I CAN D
. . . and the number 1 Candidate to Replace My Expiring Vanity Plates is:
1. OMG MOV
9. H8 2 W8
8. QTP2T
7. 2 D BANK
6. Y N V ME
5. 1DFUL1
4. O 2 B ME
3. MY PL8Z
2. I CAN D
. . . and the number 1 Candidate to Replace My Expiring Vanity Plates is:
1. OMG MOV
Thursday, May 15, 2008
TOP 10 CREATURE SOUNDS HEARD COMING FROM ADJOINING CUBICLE DUE TO ANIMALISTIC TURRETS SYNDROME
10. Grrrrr!
9. Neighing Horse (usually directed at Mindi)
8. Hungry Moose
7. Clubbed Harbor Seal
6. Angry Cow with Rabies
5. Rhino with gout
4.Water Buffalo with Down Syndrome
3. Wounded Targ (for Trekkies only)
2. Astmatic Hyena (heard only when laughing)
. . . And the number 1 creature sound heard coming from the adjoining cubicle due to animalistic turrets syndrom is.
1. Tazmanian Devil (on crack)
P.S. for non Trekkies:
The targ (in Klingon Language: targh) is a boar-like beast with sharp tusks. It is native to the Klingon homeworld Qo'noS. Klingons both hunt the animal and keep it as a pet. Both the heart and the lungs of the targ are considered to be a delicacy.
9. Neighing Horse (usually directed at Mindi)
8. Hungry Moose
7. Clubbed Harbor Seal
6. Angry Cow with Rabies
5. Rhino with gout
4.Water Buffalo with Down Syndrome
3. Wounded Targ (for Trekkies only)
2. Astmatic Hyena (heard only when laughing)
. . . And the number 1 creature sound heard coming from the adjoining cubicle due to animalistic turrets syndrom is.
1. Tazmanian Devil (on crack)
P.S. for non Trekkies:
The targ (in Klingon Language: targh) is a boar-like beast with sharp tusks. It is native to the Klingon homeworld Qo'noS. Klingons both hunt the animal and keep it as a pet. Both the heart and the lungs of the targ are considered to be a delicacy.
Friday, March 14, 2008
TOP 10 REASONS I SHOULDN'T GO SNORKELING
(As told by Deb)
10. The catamaran is a great place for catching a tan
9. Floating around in fish poop...need I say more?
8. Saltwater is very harsh to my delicate self
7. I can see tropical fish in a tank any time
6. If I can't wear my glasses, I can't see the fishies
5. I am not bait
4. Objects in the water may be closer than they appear
3. My snorkel gear doesn’t match my swimsuit
2. My dive fins make me look fat
. . . .And the number one reason I shouldn’t go snorkeling….
1. Hello, am I the only person who watches “Shark Week” on the Discovery Channel?
10. The catamaran is a great place for catching a tan
9. Floating around in fish poop...need I say more?
8. Saltwater is very harsh to my delicate self
7. I can see tropical fish in a tank any time
6. If I can't wear my glasses, I can't see the fishies
5. I am not bait
4. Objects in the water may be closer than they appear
3. My snorkel gear doesn’t match my swimsuit
2. My dive fins make me look fat
. . . .And the number one reason I shouldn’t go snorkeling….
1. Hello, am I the only person who watches “Shark Week” on the Discovery Channel?
Thursday, March 6, 2008
TOP 10 THINGS I CAN DO IN ADDITION TO WALKING TO HELP MY CHALLENGE BUDDIES TAKE FIRST PLACE IN THE HEALTHY LIFESTYLES CHALLENGE
10. Wash my car.
9. Wax my car.
8. Wash my Mom's car.
7. Wax my Mom's car.
6. Vaccuum out my Mom's Car
5. Wash my cousin's car
4. Wax my cousin's car
3. Give Maria the week off and vaccuum my ENTIRE apt.
2. 1 hour workout at 24Hour Fitness.
. . . . . and the number 1 thing I can do, in addition to walking, to help my challenge buddies take first place in the healthy lifestyles challenge is:
1. Crunches Galore . . .600 a day, Baby!
9. Wax my car.
8. Wash my Mom's car.
7. Wax my Mom's car.
6. Vaccuum out my Mom's Car
5. Wash my cousin's car
4. Wax my cousin's car
3. Give Maria the week off and vaccuum my ENTIRE apt.
2. 1 hour workout at 24Hour Fitness.
. . . . . and the number 1 thing I can do, in addition to walking, to help my challenge buddies take first place in the healthy lifestyles challenge is:
1. Crunches Galore . . .600 a day, Baby!
Friday, February 29, 2008
TOP 10 THINGS TO DO AFTER MY 90th DAY OF EMPLOYMENT AT COLEMONT
10. Call Dibuduo and Defendis just to see how the receptionist pronounces the name.
9. Decorate my cube with personal effects.
8. Achieve mastery level on C-Box for X-box(aka 4th floor switch board)
7. Take Judy, my old boss's mother, to lunch.
6. Congratulate Debbie and tell her how lucky she is to have me.
5. Send my recruiter a nice "thank you" plant.
4. Create Uncensored Top 10 lists of Debbie-isms & Amie-isms
3. Smoke my keyboard by shattering Darcy's 140 words per minute record.
2. Brush up on my solitaire skills.
and the number 1 thing to do AFTER my 90th day of employment at Colemont is:
1. Do celebratory "End-Zone-Dance" after spiking my stapler.
9. Decorate my cube with personal effects.
8. Achieve mastery level on C-Box for X-box(aka 4th floor switch board)
7. Take Judy, my old boss's mother, to lunch.
6. Congratulate Debbie and tell her how lucky she is to have me.
5. Send my recruiter a nice "thank you" plant.
4. Create Uncensored Top 10 lists of Debbie-isms & Amie-isms
3. Smoke my keyboard by shattering Darcy's 140 words per minute record.
2. Brush up on my solitaire skills.
and the number 1 thing to do AFTER my 90th day of employment at Colemont is:
1. Do celebratory "End-Zone-Dance" after spiking my stapler.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
TOP 10 REASON WHY THERE WAS ALMOST NO TOP 10 LIST THIS WEEK
10. It's 10:30pm and I just took a Benadryl(R)
9. Rough Draft Top 10 List wasn't P.C.
8. Darcy, Rebecca and I share a brain and I didn't have custody this week.
7. Last week there were TWO top ten lists.
6. Fear of retaliation from the "Bad-hair-ladies"
(aka: Amie & Mindi)
5. Writer's Block
4. Shortage of Clean Humor/Surplus of Ill Humor
3. The Benadryl just kicked in
2. Best source of material (Indimay Appelchay) is out of town
. . . . . . and the Number 1 Reason Why There Was Almost No Top 10 list this week is:
1. The other writers are on strike and I didn't want to be labeled a "scab" for crossing the picket line.
9. Rough Draft Top 10 List wasn't P.C.
8. Darcy, Rebecca and I share a brain and I didn't have custody this week.
7. Last week there were TWO top ten lists.
6. Fear of retaliation from the "Bad-hair-ladies"
(aka: Amie & Mindi)
5. Writer's Block
4. Shortage of Clean Humor/Surplus of Ill Humor
3. The Benadryl just kicked in
2. Best source of material (Indimay Appelchay) is out of town
. . . . . . and the Number 1 Reason Why There Was Almost No Top 10 list this week is:
1. The other writers are on strike and I didn't want to be labeled a "scab" for crossing the picket line.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
