10. King Kong
9. Scooby - Doo
8. The Brady Bunch
7. The Incredible Hulk
6. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
5. Oceans 11
4. Starsky and Hutch
3. Dukes of Hazzard
2. Knight Rider
and the Number 1 Worst Movie or Television Remake is . . .
1. Fame
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
TOP FIVE REASONS I DON'T RECEIVE E-MAILS FROM DARCY ANYMORE
5. Old age has set in: Arthritis and Dementia make it difficult to type a coherent e-mail.
4. Keeping in touch with ex-co-workers has been replaced by new hobby..Celebrity Gossip
3. Her hotmail account was compromised and her e-mail blocked by Colemont's spam filters.
2. She had an epiphany that we're the same people who filled her cubicle with balloons…..TWICE in one day.
. . . .and the number 1 reason I don't receive e-mails from Darcy anymore is:
1. She still writes, just not to the person who posted the infamous Jack Osborne picture.
4. Keeping in touch with ex-co-workers has been replaced by new hobby..Celebrity Gossip
3. Her hotmail account was compromised and her e-mail blocked by Colemont's spam filters.
2. She had an epiphany that we're the same people who filled her cubicle with balloons…..TWICE in one day.
. . . .and the number 1 reason I don't receive e-mails from Darcy anymore is:
1. She still writes, just not to the person who posted the infamous Jack Osborne picture.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
TOP 10 THINGS NEW EMPLOYEES CAN LOOK FORWARD TO
10. Shorts on casual Friday for the rest of Summer.
9. Discovering the true meaning of "Special Duties as assigned"
8. Co-workers' entertaining anecdotes
7. Everyone else's PDL's
6. Quarterly prank wars.
5. Microsoft Outlook experience
4. Departmental "Beer Summit"
3. Birthday Confetti
2. Marinated Cheese
And the number 1 thing new employees can look forward to is . . .
1. Next Friday's Top 10 List
9. Discovering the true meaning of "Special Duties as assigned"
8. Co-workers' entertaining anecdotes
7. Everyone else's PDL's
6. Quarterly prank wars.
5. Microsoft Outlook experience
4. Departmental "Beer Summit"
3. Birthday Confetti
2. Marinated Cheese
And the number 1 thing new employees can look forward to is . . .
1. Next Friday's Top 10 List
Thursday, July 23, 2009
TOP 10 NICKNAMES EVER GIVEN TO ME BY A COWORKER
10. K. J.
9. Kevi-Kev
8. The Creeper
7. Goofball
6. Boob
5. Stalker
4. Cracker
3. Burnt Cracker
2. Bubba Gut
And the number 1 Nickname ever given to me by a co-worker is . . .
1. Chocolate Adonis
9. Kevi-Kev
8. The Creeper
7. Goofball
6. Boob
5. Stalker
4. Cracker
3. Burnt Cracker
2. Bubba Gut
And the number 1 Nickname ever given to me by a co-worker is . . .
1. Chocolate Adonis
Friday, July 17, 2009
TOP 10 WORST REALITY SHOW IDEAS IMAGINEABLE
10. Real Houswives of Highland Park
9. Man vs Cartoon
8. Dance your A off
7. Viva la Bam
6. The Swan
5. Joe Shmoe
4. Kid Nation
3. Cheaters
2. Drag Race
And the number 1 worst reality show idea imagineable is . . .
1. Jigsaw Puzzle Smackdown
9. Man vs Cartoon
8. Dance your A off
7. Viva la Bam
6. The Swan
5. Joe Shmoe
4. Kid Nation
3. Cheaters
2. Drag Race
And the number 1 worst reality show idea imagineable is . . .
1. Jigsaw Puzzle Smackdown
Friday, July 10, 2009
TOP 10 TRUE OR FALSE QUESTIONS THAT MAY BE FOUND ON AN AGENCY ACCOUNTING POP TEST
10. My boss's boss is a Peeping Tom.
9. I am putting on my "ignore phones" so I can get some work done today.
8. Direct Bill checks are a piece of cake.
7. Pended items don't die . . . they multiply.
6. If you need anything, IM me.
5. Yesterday I was the pigeon, today I'm the statue.
4. I'm taking an hour lunch today.
3. All I see is tunnel.
2. My kids have eaten up all my PTO.
and the number one True or False Question That May Be Found On An Agency Accounting Pop Test is. . .
1. Cash is posted, commissions paid, over 90 report completed, no pended & my e-mail is empty; I'm going home at 4:00 today.
9. I am putting on my "ignore phones" so I can get some work done today.
8. Direct Bill checks are a piece of cake.
7. Pended items don't die . . . they multiply.
6. If you need anything, IM me.
5. Yesterday I was the pigeon, today I'm the statue.
4. I'm taking an hour lunch today.
3. All I see is tunnel.
2. My kids have eaten up all my PTO.
and the number one True or False Question That May Be Found On An Agency Accounting Pop Test is. . .
1. Cash is posted, commissions paid, over 90 report completed, no pended & my e-mail is empty; I'm going home at 4:00 today.
Friday, June 26, 2009
TOP 10 REASONS DEBBIE MAY HAVE TO "STOMP ON SOMEBODY"
10. Habitual / perpetual "technical difficulties" at US Bank.
9. Back door deals between finance companies and SOC markets demand it.
8. The assumption that it is Accounting's job to "put the worms back in the can"
7. Hawaii seems like sooooo long ago.
6. Because she can!
5. We're Agency Accounting; it's what we do.
4. It's a good way to relieve stress.
3. It get's faster results than a google search. (or a letter of cancellation)
2. She can't find her red members only jacket.
. . . and the number one reason Debbie may have to "Stomp on somebody" is:
1. She ran out of her A.D.D. meds and it helps her focus.
9. Back door deals between finance companies and SOC markets demand it.
8. The assumption that it is Accounting's job to "put the worms back in the can"
7. Hawaii seems like sooooo long ago.
6. Because she can!
5. We're Agency Accounting; it's what we do.
4. It's a good way to relieve stress.
3. It get's faster results than a google search. (or a letter of cancellation)
2. She can't find her red members only jacket.
. . . and the number one reason Debbie may have to "Stomp on somebody" is:
1. She ran out of her A.D.D. meds and it helps her focus.
Friday, November 14, 2008
TOP 10 FUN THINGS TO DO WHILE THE BOSS AND THE BOSS'S BOSS ARE VACATIONING IN HAWAII
10. Temporarily move into their offices.
9. Tell my co-workers they left me in charge and delegate my responsibilities.
8. Have a contest with co-workers doing Kimberly/Debbie impersonations.(First prize: day off while co-workers cover your desk. No PTO required.)
7. Make anonymous call to Hawaiian agents divulging their whereabouts.
6. Forward all the office phones/departmental e-mails to their Blackberries.
5. Have Jason's deli deliver lunch every day and charge it to their accounts.
4. Raffle off their chairs.
3. Party !
2. Type up their resignations and forward them to H.R.
. . .And the Number 1 Fun Thing To Do While the Boss and the Boss's Boss Are Vacationing in Hawaii is. . .
1. Turn our cubicles into grass huts and decorate the office with palm trees, hammocks and sand. (Mai Tais not included)
9. Tell my co-workers they left me in charge and delegate my responsibilities.
8. Have a contest with co-workers doing Kimberly/Debbie impersonations.(First prize: day off while co-workers cover your desk. No PTO required.)
7. Make anonymous call to Hawaiian agents divulging their whereabouts.
6. Forward all the office phones/departmental e-mails to their Blackberries.
5. Have Jason's deli deliver lunch every day and charge it to their accounts.
4. Raffle off their chairs.
3. Party !
2. Type up their resignations and forward them to H.R.
. . .And the Number 1 Fun Thing To Do While the Boss and the Boss's Boss Are Vacationing in Hawaii is. . .
1. Turn our cubicles into grass huts and decorate the office with palm trees, hammocks and sand. (Mai Tais not included)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
TOP 10 INTERESTING THINGS TO SEE WHILE HAVING LUNCH AT LUCKY'S
10. Waitstaff without a clue
9. The Clientele
8. The Amazing Prancing-Twirling Waiter
7. New Top 10 Material
6. Ghetto Fabulous Hair Styles
5. DSL-Man proposal to Ghetto Fab Bride-To-Be
4. Flies like honey too
3. Grafiti on walls
2. Co-workers expressions as they read grafiti on walls.
. . . and the number 1 interesting thing to see while having lunch at Lucky's is
1. creative ways to conserve water. (see Amie or Mindi for details)
9. The Clientele
8. The Amazing Prancing-Twirling Waiter
7. New Top 10 Material
6. Ghetto Fabulous Hair Styles
5. DSL-Man proposal to Ghetto Fab Bride-To-Be
4. Flies like honey too
3. Grafiti on walls
2. Co-workers expressions as they read grafiti on walls.
. . . and the number 1 interesting thing to see while having lunch at Lucky's is
1. creative ways to conserve water. (see Amie or Mindi for details)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
TOP 10 PERKS ASSOCIATED WITH BEING ON COLEMONT'S CORPORATE RELAY TEAM FOR THE WHITE ROCK MARATHON
10. Healthy Lifestyles Points
9. Who needs a Wheaties(R) box when you can have your pic on Fixed Asset Software AND C-Net.
8. Running does a body good.
7. Hob-Nobbing with Colemont Execs.
6. "I'm training for a marathon" sounds so athletic.
5. You can ride to the finish line in a heated minivan
4. Opportunity to pitch Marshall ideas for converting the 4th floor breakroom into a "coffee lounge" with a glass floor.
3. Shane volunteered to run all of the hills.
2. Running on the "Elite Team" will impress coworkers.
. . . and the number 1 Perk Associated with Being on Colemont's Corporate Relay Team for the White Rock Marathon is:
1. Red and Green Merry Christmasy Unitards !
9. Who needs a Wheaties(R) box when you can have your pic on Fixed Asset Software AND C-Net.
8. Running does a body good.
7. Hob-Nobbing with Colemont Execs.
6. "I'm training for a marathon" sounds so athletic.
5. You can ride to the finish line in a heated minivan
4. Opportunity to pitch Marshall ideas for converting the 4th floor breakroom into a "coffee lounge" with a glass floor.
3. Shane volunteered to run all of the hills.
2. Running on the "Elite Team" will impress coworkers.
. . . and the number 1 Perk Associated with Being on Colemont's Corporate Relay Team for the White Rock Marathon is:
1. Red and Green Merry Christmasy Unitards !
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
TOP 10 SURE FIRE SIGNS YOU MAY BE CAUGHT IN A NORTH TEXAS STORM
10. Local meteorologists predict 30% chance of rain.
9. An hour before lunch it begins to look like midnight outside.
8. Oak trees bending in ways they normally don't
7. Subtle cracking/popping/pinging sounds coming from conference room windows
6. KathieLewis(Office Mgr) walks through and suggests that everyone stay away from the windows.
5. On the P.A system, Bldg Security announces,"If you are in an office or conference room with exterior glass, please leave the room and close the door behind you"
4. Doppler Radar on Fox Storm Tracker shows your current location in RED.
3. 70mph straight line winds.
2. Mindi "The Weather Girl" Chappell predicted it.
. . .and the number 1 sure fire sign that you may be caught in a North Texas Storm is:
1. The power in your office bldg goes out and you have to eat your lunch in the basement by emergency lighting.
9. An hour before lunch it begins to look like midnight outside.
8. Oak trees bending in ways they normally don't
7. Subtle cracking/popping/pinging sounds coming from conference room windows
6. KathieLewis(Office Mgr) walks through and suggests that everyone stay away from the windows.
5. On the P.A system, Bldg Security announces,"If you are in an office or conference room with exterior glass, please leave the room and close the door behind you"
4. Doppler Radar on Fox Storm Tracker shows your current location in RED.
3. 70mph straight line winds.
2. Mindi "The Weather Girl" Chappell predicted it.
. . .and the number 1 sure fire sign that you may be caught in a North Texas Storm is:
1. The power in your office bldg goes out and you have to eat your lunch in the basement by emergency lighting.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
TOP 10 CANDIDATES TO REPLACE MY EXPIRING VANITY PLATES
10. OMG ML8
9. H8 2 W8
8. QTP2T
7. 2 D BANK
6. Y N V ME
5. 1DFUL1
4. O 2 B ME
3. MY PL8Z
2. I CAN D
. . . and the number 1 Candidate to Replace My Expiring Vanity Plates is:
1. OMG MOV
9. H8 2 W8
8. QTP2T
7. 2 D BANK
6. Y N V ME
5. 1DFUL1
4. O 2 B ME
3. MY PL8Z
2. I CAN D
. . . and the number 1 Candidate to Replace My Expiring Vanity Plates is:
1. OMG MOV
Thursday, May 15, 2008
TOP 10 CREATURE SOUNDS HEARD COMING FROM ADJOINING CUBICLE DUE TO ANIMALISTIC TURRETS SYNDROME
10. Grrrrr!
9. Neighing Horse (usually directed at Mindi)
8. Hungry Moose
7. Clubbed Harbor Seal
6. Angry Cow with Rabies
5. Rhino with gout
4.Water Buffalo with Down Syndrome
3. Wounded Targ (for Trekkies only)
2. Astmatic Hyena (heard only when laughing)
. . . And the number 1 creature sound heard coming from the adjoining cubicle due to animalistic turrets syndrom is.
1. Tazmanian Devil (on crack)
P.S. for non Trekkies:
The targ (in Klingon Language: targh) is a boar-like beast with sharp tusks. It is native to the Klingon homeworld Qo'noS. Klingons both hunt the animal and keep it as a pet. Both the heart and the lungs of the targ are considered to be a delicacy.
9. Neighing Horse (usually directed at Mindi)
8. Hungry Moose
7. Clubbed Harbor Seal
6. Angry Cow with Rabies
5. Rhino with gout
4.Water Buffalo with Down Syndrome
3. Wounded Targ (for Trekkies only)
2. Astmatic Hyena (heard only when laughing)
. . . And the number 1 creature sound heard coming from the adjoining cubicle due to animalistic turrets syndrom is.
1. Tazmanian Devil (on crack)
P.S. for non Trekkies:
The targ (in Klingon Language: targh) is a boar-like beast with sharp tusks. It is native to the Klingon homeworld Qo'noS. Klingons both hunt the animal and keep it as a pet. Both the heart and the lungs of the targ are considered to be a delicacy.
Friday, March 14, 2008
TOP 10 REASONS I SHOULDN'T GO SNORKELING
(As told by Deb)
10. The catamaran is a great place for catching a tan
9. Floating around in fish poop...need I say more?
8. Saltwater is very harsh to my delicate self
7. I can see tropical fish in a tank any time
6. If I can't wear my glasses, I can't see the fishies
5. I am not bait
4. Objects in the water may be closer than they appear
3. My snorkel gear doesn’t match my swimsuit
2. My dive fins make me look fat
. . . .And the number one reason I shouldn’t go snorkeling….
1. Hello, am I the only person who watches “Shark Week” on the Discovery Channel?
10. The catamaran is a great place for catching a tan
9. Floating around in fish poop...need I say more?
8. Saltwater is very harsh to my delicate self
7. I can see tropical fish in a tank any time
6. If I can't wear my glasses, I can't see the fishies
5. I am not bait
4. Objects in the water may be closer than they appear
3. My snorkel gear doesn’t match my swimsuit
2. My dive fins make me look fat
. . . .And the number one reason I shouldn’t go snorkeling….
1. Hello, am I the only person who watches “Shark Week” on the Discovery Channel?
Thursday, March 6, 2008
TOP 10 THINGS I CAN DO IN ADDITION TO WALKING TO HELP MY CHALLENGE BUDDIES TAKE FIRST PLACE IN THE HEALTHY LIFESTYLES CHALLENGE
10. Wash my car.
9. Wax my car.
8. Wash my Mom's car.
7. Wax my Mom's car.
6. Vaccuum out my Mom's Car
5. Wash my cousin's car
4. Wax my cousin's car
3. Give Maria the week off and vaccuum my ENTIRE apt.
2. 1 hour workout at 24Hour Fitness.
. . . . . and the number 1 thing I can do, in addition to walking, to help my challenge buddies take first place in the healthy lifestyles challenge is:
1. Crunches Galore . . .600 a day, Baby!
9. Wax my car.
8. Wash my Mom's car.
7. Wax my Mom's car.
6. Vaccuum out my Mom's Car
5. Wash my cousin's car
4. Wax my cousin's car
3. Give Maria the week off and vaccuum my ENTIRE apt.
2. 1 hour workout at 24Hour Fitness.
. . . . . and the number 1 thing I can do, in addition to walking, to help my challenge buddies take first place in the healthy lifestyles challenge is:
1. Crunches Galore . . .600 a day, Baby!
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